they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize