insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
