in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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