we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
