dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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