I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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