Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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