and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
