Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize