i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
