get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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