After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
