I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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