Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
