How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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