i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
