yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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