Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
