but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
