I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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