Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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