You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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