Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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