Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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