She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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