Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
