I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
