There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
