Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
