I cannot find my penis.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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