I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
