No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
