dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
