kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
