we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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