In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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