there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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