I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
