it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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