why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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