I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
