i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
