woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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