i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
