This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
