we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
