we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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