Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
