yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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