a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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