Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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