You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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