dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
