I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
