i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
