You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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