Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
