Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
