I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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