i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize